Starting off not like always…
I decided to make some changes. When I started out with my bookstagram, it was solely to share my reads, and find new to me Black authors, and books to read. After doing this for some months, and noticing that I was a bit too longwinded in my Week in Reviews for IG….
I decided to pick up blogging again, centered on one of my first loves, reading! However, still in line with my objective for my bookstagram, sharing my reads from Black authors and shining a light on them.
And if sharing my reads and shining a light on them is my objective…
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: It sure is! Ain’t nothing changing about that!
SheReadsaLot:
I need to decenter systems, that in my opinion, are not made for Black authors to thrive.
Audience to SheReadsaLot: So what are you saying?
I’m saying that from this day forward, I won’t be using ratings in my Week in Review.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Your ratings are feelings based anyway, meaning your 5 star today, won’t be your 5 star tomorrow.
SheReadsaLot: Ain’t that the truth! I want to just ramble about the books, and let people form their own opinions once they pick it up!
And as ratings don’t contribute to my goal that’s exactly what I’ll continue to do, ramble about my experience with the book using words to convey this experience. While taking out what no longer serves me.
And now…
By taking out a small amount of time to once again express my appreciation for all the authors that I’ve read this week.
I see your time, efforts, and dedication to your expression of art.
And
This week was a turbulent one, as these reads played with my emotions… A LOT!
Some stats about my week
- I completed 9 books this week (1 not posted)
- by 6 different authors (2 new to me)
- totaling 2.974 pages
- making it 330.4 pages per book
- averaging 424.9 pages read per day
Overview of the Books read
- Rome: The Ballerina by Mrs. Grey Huffington
- Forever his Anchor by Mrs. Charae Lewis
- Black by Mrs. Joan Vassar
- The Things Unseen Series by Mrs. K. Lashaun
- Trouble Forever by Mrs. D. Scott
Week Opener
I opened this week with the latest release of Mrs. Grey Huffington Rome: The Ballerina, book five in The Grey List series.
About Rome, FMC, the baby of the Childers siblings, and I was looking forward to reading her story. Because she stands apart from the siblings because she is softer, and fully leaned into her intuition.
But like stated, Rome might be softer but she is most definitely a Childers. She has known who her soulmate is for years, and has been preparing to meet him in this lifetime once again. Only to be disappointed, but not deterred!
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Ma’am… Not deterred?
SheReadsaLot: Now what did I do?
“I will not and have not pursued your fiancé in any way and won’t as much as acknowledge him while you’re together, so there’s no need to make a fuss here, now, or anywhere –especially the theater. But, there will come a day when things in my life will begin to align, which means things in your life are shifting, whether for the good or the bad. One of those will be your relationship status and mine.”
Huffington, Grey. Rome: The Ballerina (The Grey List Book 5). Huffington House. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot: That’s most definitely a Childers!
I followed up with Mrs. Charae Lewis‘ latest release, Forever His Anchor, book three in the Mafia Love series.
About Bria, FMC, innocent, ballet dancer
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Now don’t you go pulling a Bria!
SheReadsaLot: What are you saying here?
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: We both know that Bria is prone to telling tales!
“… I don’t want to cheat. I know that’s not the answer but I’m tired of being disregarded by my own husband.”
Lewis, Charae. Forever His Anchor (Mob Love Series Book 3) (p. 78). It’s Timeless Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: She most definitely is a ballet dancer though!
And then we have Lo, MMC, the only brother not dealing with his parents.
“They didn’t handle me with care, and I’ll never get over it.”
Lewis, Charae. Forever His Anchor (Mob Love Series Book 3) (p. 283). It’s Timeless Publications. Kindle Edition.
So about this one…
SheReadsaLot: Well this is a story about the Mafia, we are most definitely not dealing with saints over here!
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Most definitely not!
I had me some laughs, a lot of side eye moments!
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Bria!
SheReadsaLot: Lo’s parentals, because why wouldn’t you listen to your child, and Maddie, that jealous vindictive heifer!
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Bria’s familial unit were side eye worthy as well!
And it was a story about mental health, as we got to hear Lo’s story.
SheReadsaLot to Audience: Have some tissues handy! Because there will be consequences with the lessons and suspense!
… She had made this bed, which was unfortunate since her bond with Lo had been the ultimate sacrifice.
Lewis, Charae. Forever His Anchor (Mob Love Series Book 3). It’s Timeless Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot: Some well deserved ones!
After that Twin had made it possible for me to read Black, by new to me author Mrs. Joan Vassar next.
About Nat Hope Turner aka Black, the son of Nat Turner who is born on the day of his murder and raised in secret. Black grows up, and seeing the treatment of his Mama, knows!
It was at that moment that he realized his new role where Mama was concerned. He would be her protector, and to do so, he could not remain a slave.
Vassar, Joan. BLACK (The Black Series Book 1). Dream House Press. Kindle Edition.
And Sunday, FMC, who escapes with the help of Black to prevent her becoming the body slave of the son of the house.. Will.
…
Vassar, Joan. BLACK (The Black Series Book 1). Dream House Press. Kindle Edition.
“What would you has us do, Jacob? Give him Sunday ’cause he is entitled?”
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot: Will!
SheReadsaLot to Audience: We have a strong dislike for entitlement. Don’t matter in who it presents itself!
Twin to SheReadsaLot: You mean Nat?
SheReadsaLot:
Black lay in front of the fireplace naked and totally in his glory, the flickering light dancing off his beautifully carved body. Camille loved him and was aware that he was looking for comfort and was not in love.
Vassar, Joan. BLACK (The Black Series Book 1). Dream House Press. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to Black: Sir… Camille? Because you didn’t wanna deal with your feelings?
After you was warned? And then wanting to get jealous and all in your chest when Sunday was talking to the Blacksmith?
“I was afraid …” Correcting himself, he continued, “I am afraid of getting you with child when we are not a free people. I do not want our children to be fugitives.” Hesitating, he said, “I should not have gone to her, and I understand now the pain I have caused you. I am asking for your forgiveness … please. I am committed to you, Sunday.”
Vassar, Joan. BLACK (The Black Series Book 1). Dream House Press. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot:
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Okay, so he had a little misstep… But he wasn’t that bad right?
SheReadsaLot to Audience: So yes, Black ended up being alright, a man with a sound mind
SheReadsaLot: When he wasn’t being obtuse!
SheReadsaLot to Audience: Open to council, no matter the source! He took away from it what was helpful!
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: And with the life he was living his decisions were understandable…
SheReadsaLot: Didn’t take away from the fact that I still got pissed at Black several instances!
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: The way he opened up for love, while fighting for freedom was beautiful however!
He cried for himself for allowing pride to be his companion instead of his family. Sleep claimed him in the throes of his sorrow, and he was thankful.
Vassar, Joan. BLACK (The Black Series Book 1). Dream House Press. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: Sure was, and to see Sunday letting that love reinforce her, helping her stand in her purpose in the very presence of fear?
Philip said, “Miss Sunday, this ain’t a good idea.” Turning to Philip, she asked, “Do ya know what’s happenin’?” Philip stared at her, his confusion unmistakable. She continued, “I’s givin’ orders. I ain’t askin’ you.”
Vassar, Joan. BLACK (The Black Series Book 1). Dream House Press. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: And we had some unexpected laughs as well.. Didn’t we?
Rose looked up at him as he planted a chaste kiss on her lips. Anderson was tall and thin with thick glasses. He had brown hair, blue eyes, and a very big nose. His mouth in conjunction with the rest of his face was very small. There was no mistaking that he was handsome, but one had to look twice to see it.
Vassar, Joan. BLACK (The Black Series Book 1). Dream House Press. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: Sure did!
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot:
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot: Yeah.. Another good rec and present from twin!
I stayed with recs from Twin, and decided to pick up book 1, In This Moment, in Mrs. K. Lashaun‘s The Things Unseen series.
About Garryn, FMC,
I was so tired from carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders that they physically ached, so I cried. I cried for the little girl who was confused about the lack of love she received. I cried for the teenager who rebelled and raged, hoping that anything would garner her mother’s attention. I cried for the young woman who allowed herself to be used and neglected in too many relationships because it was all she knew. I cried for Garryn. For once, I cried for me because nobody else would.
Lashaun, K.. In This Moment (The Things Unseen Book 1). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
Dealing not only with abandonment issues, but also with the way she sees herself, and deals with affluent men while dating. Thanks to the teachings of her mother.
Making things a bit more difficult for Verse, MMC,
It still surprised me sometimes that a tailored suit, fat bank account, and position of power could have my less than stellar past overlooked.
Lashaun, K.. In This Moment (The Things Unseen Book 1). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
when he tries to pursue her.
“That won’t be necessary.” When I tried to protest, Verse fixed a glare on me. I pressed my lips together, waiting until we were alone before speaking my mind. “I can pay for my half.”
Lashaun, K.. In This Moment (The Things Unseen Book 1). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot:
SheReadsaLot to Audience: So Garryn’s trauma went DEEP!
And where Garryn doesn’t want to accept anything, Verse has people in his life expecting to gain everything from him, even when he’s disrespected.
“I never said I was your father, B. Never.” “Then fall the fuck back and let me live my life.” “The life I’m sponsoring?” I shot back. “If you want me to fall back, I’ll fall back. And so will my money that’s afforded you the life you’re living. I ain’t never tried to be your daddy. I’m just looking out for you just like I look out for G, Krys, and everybody else. You’re the only ungrateful muthafucka in the bunch.”
Lashaun, K.. In This Moment (The Things Unseen Book 1). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Family dynamics are a central theme in this series!
SheReadsaLot: That’s not at all an understatement!
Meaning sometimes difficult but very needed decisions need to be made!
You did something brave and difficult. You put yourself first when that’s something you haven’t done often enough.
Lashaun, K.. In This Moment (The Things Unseen Book 1). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
But when you open yourself up to love despite your fears, something beautiful can be on the other side of it.
I make it a point to let you know every day that you are loved, cherished, and adored.
Lashaun, K.. In This Moment (The Things Unseen Book 1). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot:
After the first book, I had to pick up book two, To Be Loved, from Mrs. K. Lashaun‘s The Things Unseen Series.
About Remedy, FMC, who just wants to be seen… Even though she has been hiding behind her guards.
“I don’t know what your eyes look like.” My head swiveled to meet his gaze, frowning when I realized how close we were. Still, I didn’t retreat. ”What are you talking about? You see my face more than any other person I know. You, of all people, should know exactly what my eyes look like.” Again, he shook his head. “Not really. I know what those look like.” He pointed towards my face. “But I wouldn’t call them eyes. They’re shields. Your guards.” He grunted. “They show nothing of the woman inside. I’ve been working for you for two years and I still don’t think I’ve even tapped the surface of who you really are.”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
Guards she erected after not being protected, by the one person that was the protector for the kids who weren’t related to him.
So, I sat there on the front row of my father’s ceremony, fingers linked with Verse’s as we listened to tons of people go up and mention how loved my father was and how much Uptown would suffer from his loss. They spoke about his love for the hood and how he went above and beyond to look out for everyone in it.
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
And Latham, MMC, who does something that the ones closest to her haven’t been doing for a very long time. Sees her! And brings along with himself, people that see her as well.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Like Mrs. Anne
Before I could stop her, she enveloped me in a vanilla scented hug. A soft grunt met my ears before she whispered words that made me gasp. “My goodness. So much pain. So much hurt and anger.”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
…
“It’s okay to let go of the anger. You’ve held on to it for so long that you’re hurting yourself more than the memories are.”
SheReadsaLot:
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: And Tessa!
“Be honest. Tell them the truth. Don’t hold it in.” I gave her advice that I wish someone would’ve given me. “Holding it in hurts and will eat at you until it consumes your entire life.” I forced a smile, hoping to lighten the moment that was growing too heavy. “Tell them how you feel, Tessa. If you don’t, you’ll end up like me.” I said with a laugh, though I was completely serious. I thought that was the end of the conversation, so I turned to my dresser, placing my underwear back in their color coordinated slots. “I wouldn’t mind ending up like you, Ms. Remy.” She said in a soft tone that made my heart skip a beat. “You’re not so bad.”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: Each conversation she had with Tessa helped in the healing of her inner child.
These characters were all so beautifully human and loving.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Ma’am, don’t be too hasty now!
SheReadsaLot to Audience: She’s right, it’s still a big F you for Ms. Gloria!
“Just because you went through the same thing doesn’t mean you’re the same person. She hurts others to make herself feel better. You just keep your distance. You’re not mean, or violent, or nasty with every person you meet. Not like her. I tried to understand for a while but… after meeting you and finding out what happened to you, I realized she was choosing to be that way and I can’t do it anymore.”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Because when is enough, enough?
“I can appreciate trying to sympathize and be understanding but when she’s that hurtful, when do you protect yourself and your children from it instead of putting up with it?”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: We are raised to believe that people deserve chances, and older people even more so. And this is indeed some thing to ponder upon. When have they received enough chances? And should your children be part of those chances?
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot: I think NOT.
SheReadsaLot to Audience: It was also very much F. Big Tim over here.
“He had the nerve to walk around like a fucking God amongst men while his own daughter was suffering under his watch. How the fuck did that happen?”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to Audience: And very much FACK the three!
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Lessons you’d like to share?
SheReadsaLot: Yes! When you say you are willing to do anything for your child… It also means setting aside your pride.
“Are you willing to do anything for your child? Your children?” Surprise at my question had her hesitating before a reluctant nod lifted and lowered her head. “Then put aside your pride to do this for them. Don’t let pride be the reason your kids grow up in an environment that I’m offering to help you out of. It’s not fair to them.”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: A reminder that pushing people away usually is a trauma response.
“I reckon anyone who tries so hard to push people away has something to hide. Something that hurts them terribly and they’re trying to protect themselves from it. It’s not my place to judge you for how you choose to protect yourself. My job is to show you and everyone else kindness, no matter what.”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: An acknowledgment of the hurt done goes a long way..
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry Rem for failing you.” I didn’t know how bad I needed to hear those words. That was all I wanted. An apology.
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot: And being seen can be healing in and of itself.
“Thank you.”
Lashaun, K.. To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2). 16th Ave Publications. Kindle Edition.
…
“For what?”
…
“For everything. For seeing me. For loving me. For being there and not giving up when I know that was the easier option.”
Mrs. Lashaun held me in a chokehold so I picked up the last two books in The Things Unseen series, which were Beneath the Silence and With These Words, the two part story of
Eden, FMC,
Time and time again, I’d put my trust in the wrong people and paid the price for it. Now I was skittish. Wary and mistrustful of damn near everyone, just like that horse Hakeem favored at the Sanctuary.
Lashaun, K.. With These Words (The Things Unseen Book 4). Kindle Edition.
and Hakeem, MMC,
For the first time, someone had shown me something I’d craved for so long but thought I’d never get. Kindness.
Lashaun, K.. Beneath the Silence (The Things Unseen Book 3). Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot:
This one had a lot to do with displaced loyalty. Because how can you be loyal to someone who isn’t at all loyal to you? Case in point.
“Because that’s your brother. He’s family. And we don’t turn our backs on family.” I hated that fucking motto and rather than stewing silently like I normally did when she brought it up, I sucked my teeth. “Even when they sleep with your ex and have a baby with him, huh?”
Lashaun, K.. Beneath the Silence (The Things Unseen Book 3). Kindle Edition.
…
“it’s family over everything. Even if that family was draining you dry. Even if that family you broke your back for wouldn’t do the same for you.”
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Can’t stand that motto either! Reminds me too much of nazi sympathizers.
SheReadsaLot: It’s a tactic used for predators and abusers to evade accountability. Because think about it… Who does this really benefit?
“You know… for years, all I remember you preaching is family over everything. We don’t turn our back on family. And I always wondered why I was treated as a second-class citizen if family is so important.” I made sure my gaze remained on my mom as I spoke. “I’ve damn near killed myself, ruined my career, and gone to jail for family. But it wasn’t until today that I realized I was outside that protective circle. The family you wanted to keep together so bad was you, Dad, Madi and Benji. I’m just the foundation foundation you walk around on. Forgotten and ignored under your feet but so necessary for the house to stand.”
Lashaun, K.. Beneath the Silence (The Things Unseen Book 3). Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot:
Highlighting some troubling behaviors…
“Yeah, I cheated.” He argued once the door was closed. “But you ain’t complain about it before. Every time you found out, I gave you space to throw your little tantrum but you always came back.”
Lashaun, K.. Beneath the Silence (The Things Unseen Book 3). Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot:
SheReadsaLot: Yup, you stay silent, you don’t react, or you stay? And they’ll say you liked it and actually approved of the bad behavior.
Faults in the educational system…
With each word my mom spoke, Ms. Marlow’s expression fell, revealing heavy disappointment. Meanwhile, I kept staring at my fingers, unsurprised by the response. Getting me help for my anger, even at no cost or inconvenience to her, was not something she’d ever do.
Lashaun, K.. Beneath the Silence (The Things Unseen Book 3). Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: That scene very much underscored the failures, or should we call it a success of the system? Because how can you offer help to the victim when the abusers are the one deciding?
Your childhood will show up in your relationships
You can’t keep extending yourself for people who only see your value in what you can do for them. You’re worth more than that, Eden and it’s pastime you realize it.”
Lashaun, K.. Beneath the Silence (The Things Unseen Book 3). Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Eden’s conditioning in childhood had her feeling like she was only of value, only worthy of love when she sacrificed herself.
SheReadsaLot:
It wasn’t only heavy themes being discussed however. We got some levity and light thrown in as well.
“Nigga, Gia asked me how her shoes looked with her outfit. First of all, why did she think I was the person to ask that shit?”
Lashaun, K.. With These Words (The Things Unseen Book 4). Kindle Edition.
His face contorted and I bit back a laugh.
“And why the fuck did I tell her it’s giving bad bitch? What does that even mean?”
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot:
SheReadsaLot to Audience: This series by Mrs. Lashaun shines light on the different ways trauma presents itself, because trauma isn’t always loud. It can present itself as silence, closing yourself of from others, like depression, like hyper independence, like sleepwalking through life.
SheReadsaLot: And having said that, I’ll close out this series with some messages, and reminders that resonated deeply with me.
First Message
“You’ve got to stop sleepwalking through life. Stop letting shit happen to you. Stop putting everybody else and their problems first. …”
Lashaun, K.. With These Words (The Things Unseen Book 4). Kindle Edition.
Second message:
You don’t have to depend on family that treats you like that. Make your own. We’ll be your family if that’s what you want.”
Lashaun, K.. With These Words (The Things Unseen Book 4). Kindle Edition.
And the last, but certainly not of lesser importance.
People like us, people who’ve experienced the type of traumas we have? We’ve been conditioned to think that happiness afterwards isn’t possible. But we’re proof that it exists. That we’re worthy of it. And the funny thing is, we always were.”
Lashaun, K.. Beneath the Silence (The Things Unseen Book 3) (pp. 363-364). Kindle Edition.
Week Closer
And I closed out my week with Mrs. D. Scott‘s latest release, Trouble Forever.
About Storm, FMC,
Shorty had a slim frame; she couldn’t have been any more than 150 pounds, but 40 of them had to be ass.
SCOTT, D. TROUBLE FOREVER. Kindle Edition.
And Trouble, MMC,
I groaned, “So you got two left feet?” He didn’t answer right away, then closed the space between us completely. As he looked down at me, he said, “Three.”
SCOTT, D. TROUBLE FOREVER. Kindle Edition.
SheReadsaLot and SheReadsaLot:
That brought me some much needed levity after all the emotionfilled reads.
Mrs. Scott had me laughing at her wordplay, and even at her dark sense of humor.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Which we very much liked, didn’t we?
SheReadsaLot: We sure did!
She threw in a lot of suspense, and even some mystery as well.
SheReadsaLot to SheReadsaLot: Because if the arranged marriage was to bring peace and a truce between these warring Mafia Families, who was trying to take shorty out?
SheReadsaLot: And that’s for the audience to find out!
And that is how we’ve come to the end of this Week in Review! Off to see what next week will bring!
👩🏾SheReadsaLot 